NCMU Phase One! (No Context Marvel Universe) (Google Translate)

Written by Charlie Thomas, Special guest written by Google Translate

Iron Man is now: Alien Barber.

I just put I the plot I found on Wikipedia and I got:

Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), arms dealer and alien explorer. He stole to make a dangerous weapon. It's more like a hair salon. In America, Stark turned the powers around and used them to fight crime and terrorism.

So technically, what Google is trying to say is that Tony Stark, an alien explorer of planet earth has stolen a weapon thats like a hair salon? He turned his hair cutting powers around to fight crime with them?

The Incredible Hulk is now: Doctor Duo

Scientist Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) teams up with Betty Ross (Louise Taylor) to find a cure for the tissue-destroying wedge rays injected into the Hulk. Banner is forced to hide his crime from General Sanders Ross (William Hart) and soon encounters a new threat. Strong Enemies (Tim Roth).

So, a team of Doctors use drugs to stop a tissue tearing destroying wedge ray from tearing into a hulk? But Sanders and Strong Enemies get in their way.

Iron Man 2 is now: Alien Barber 2

Billionaire Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is called Iron Man, but he has to show his talent in all ways. He did not want to reveal the secrets of his investigation, fearing that the information would fall into the wrong hands. Along with Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow) and Rod "Rudy" (Don Cheadle), Tony must make new friends and face enemies.

Probably the calmest one but Alien Barber is now nicknamed himself Iron Man, sounds familiar?

Thor is now: The King the Son and the Empress

Father Odin (Sir Anthony Hopkins) takes the hero (Chris Hemsworth) from his home to a beautiful world where he lives among men. Thor's love for scientist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) is a good lesson in how darkness travels to another world in search of something new.

I don't really get what this is supposed to mean but I guess Odin takes Thor to Mystical world above earth and Thor meets an evil scientist empress and falls in love with her.

Captain America is now: Suicide Soldier

Hero Steve Rogers gathers a powerful army to become Captain America, but pays a heavy price when he tries to destroy Captain America's team. .

Not joking, he becomes Captain America, to kill Captain America. He is 100% A suicide soldier.

The Avengers is now: Destruction of the Mega-Team

Loki's (Tom Hiddleston) brother, Thor and S.H.I.E.L.D. use Captain Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) to fight an endless threat, Iron Man ( Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) talk about their dreams.

So Loki, Thor, Shield and Captain Nick Fury all team up to kill Alien Barber, Suicide Soldier and the Doctor Duo for talking about their dreams? I don't blame them.

So are heroes at the moment are the Government/ Shield, Loki and Thor whop try to stop super heroes form existing.

Phase Two coming soon!